Family Unfriendly

A new book by Timothy Carney explores why it's harder to raise kids these days.

I recently read Timothy Carney’s Family Unfriendly: How Our Culture Made Raising Kids Much Harder than It Needs to Be. Carney—a journalist and American Enterprise Institute Scholar—argues that societal shifts over the past several decades have eroded the essential networks of support that families once relied on, leaving parents overwhelmed and children underserved.

A Fractured Support System

Carney’s central premise is that the challenges facing today’s parents are not merely personal or logistical but deeply rooted in societal trends that have fundamentally reshaped family life. He traces the decline of local communities, religious institutions, and extended family networks that once provided critical emotional, financial, and practical support.

For example, Carney notes how increasing geographic mobility has pulled families apart, with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins often living far from one another. This physical distance translates into fewer opportunities for intergenerational caregiving, a resource that was historically vital for raising children. He also critiques the rise of an individualistic culture that prioritizes personal success and self-reliance over communal well-being, further isolating parents and leaving them to shoulder the burdens of child-rearing alone.

The Role of Economic Pressures

Economic factors also play a significant role in Carney’s analysis. He examines how the rising costs of housing, education, and childcare have placed immense financial strain on families, making it harder for parents to feel secure in their ability to provide for their children. These economic challenges, Carney argues, are exacerbated by public policies that often fail to adequately support working families, such as insufficient parental leave, inflexible work schedules, and a lack of affordable childcare options.

Interestingly, Carney connects these economic realities to the broader cultural narrative that has undervalued parenting as a vocation. In his view, the societal emphasis on career achievement and material success has de-prioritized the essential work of raising the next generation, leaving parents to navigate a system that seems indifferent to their struggles.

Solutions Rooted in Community

While Family Unfriendly paints a stark picture of the obstacles modern families face, Carney offers a hopeful vision for the future. He emphasizes the importance of rebuilding strong communities where families can thrive. This includes revitalizing local institutions like churches, schools, and neighborhood associations, as well as fostering a culture that values interdependence over isolation.

Carney also advocates for policy reforms that would make family life more sustainable, such as tax incentives for parents, expanded childcare options, and workplace flexibility. However, his primary focus remains on cultural change, urging readers to consider how their personal choices and community involvement can help rebuild the social fabric that families so desperately need.

A Call to Action

Family Unfriendly is both a critique and a call to action, urging readers to rethink the way society approaches parenting. By shining a light on the systemic challenges families face, Carney invites us to consider how we can collectively create a culture that supports parents and nurtures children.

In a world where raising kids often feels like an uphill battle, Carney’s book serves as a timely reminder that the solutions lie not just in individual effort but in collective action. Parents, policymakers, and community members alike can benefit from his insights, making this an essential read for anyone invested in the future of family life.